Birthday Presents or Something

by Jason

Every year on my birthday I face the usual question, “What do you want?”

The question comes from various friends but I always tell them the exact same thing.

“I want comic books and actions figures,” then as an after thought I usually add, “and music.”

So tell me why everyone thinks I’m joking?  The usual texting response goes something like this:

“LOL haha seriously though?”

I of course reply by letting them know I am completely serious.  Then they reply by saying something like:

“What about something from American Eagle?” (Ummm… I appreciate the though but did I say fucking American Eagle?)

. . . or . . .

“I was thinking about getting you a gift-card.” (I guess at least with that mindless gift I could buy myself what I already told you I wanted.)

. . . or the people who almost grasp what I want, but not quite . . .

“So what music?” (You know there is a reason why I mentioned that one last!  Why not ask, ‘what action figures?’)

I guess I just don’t understand why it is so difficult for people to realize that I actually want to get something fun on my birthday.  Call me a nerd if you want.  But think about it, if someone gets you clothes as a present they are usually sale items that aren’t what you would pick out or you are with them when they buy them (which totally ruins the surprise aspect).  Gift cards may be nice but honestly what does that really say except “I was to lazy/didn’t know you well enough to pick out something you’d like.”  I honestly think I would appreciate a gag gift a lot more because at least it would show some camaraderie.

Besides I buy myself clothes all the time, music I can just steal from my friends Ipod, and whatever else most people think of to give me I never look at after I open it.  So I think people should catch the hint and start following the loose guidelines I give them.  Heck, I buy my friends fun crap like Nerf Guns, ninja turtles, and Super Soakers all the time.  The first person to return the favor will definitely be moving up to number one on my Myspace top friends.  (Before Facebook conquered the Internet my friends would actually get excited about that.)

Anyway, I should apologize for sounding so bitter towards my peeps.  I actually think they are all the greatest in the world and I truly do appreciate the gifts they give. 

 There is this teacher/friend of mine who always gets be picture books.  Now that ‘s a good gift!  Who knows why she gets them for me, but they’re gifts I actually remember and look at more than once.  It may not be a comic book but its a lot damn closer than anyone else is getting.