So Be Lonely

by Jason

A few days ago I was having breakfast and talking with one of my good friends.  She had made me these amazing vegan biscuits and gravy and we were having excellent conversation, just like we normally do.  So it was good, really good.

But she said something at one point that has really been sticking with me ever since then.

We were discussing our respective break-ups and the pain it has caused us.  At some point in sharing where we are both at with all that, she started bringing up the book/movie “Eat Pray Love.”  Both of us had seen the movie.  She had read the whole book, I had read part, so we were both familiar with the story.  My friend mentioned how at one point, Elizabeth Gilbert is meditating and there are mosquitos biting her but she decides not to swat them.  She refuses to allow herself to be distracted and instead focuses her attention on the pain directly.  The point is something like she allows herself to feel pain from the mosquitos and doesn’t fight it, instead she focuses on it.

With this story in mind my friend started talking about how, yeah, she is lonely right now and yeah, that sucks.  But so what?  Instead of trying to fight that, instead of trying to swat that, she is focusing on that pain, being lonely and accepting it.  She kept saying over and over, to herself and to me, “so be lonely.”

Over the past few days, that has been constantly playing in my mind.

Right now, I am happy and very content with where my life is at.  I feel confident in who I am and who I am becoming.  Yeah, I am lonely at times.  What single person isn’t?  But so what?  Be lonely.

There is a reason why I am experiencing all of this, so I will embrace it or attempt to at least.  And I think maybe, in accepting my loneliness, in accepting my pain, maybe in some way I will become a little bit more complete.