Alone in Paris

by Jason

There is something so real about being awake past 3 AM.  The lights are buzzing, the refrigerator is making awkward noises, and everything else is so still; so quiet.  You feel fully awake and very tired at the same time.  You suddenly understand yourself completely and everything becomes dangerously honest.  Your future and past start playing out before you with a clarity that you just can’t get at any other time.  These moments are your reality.  These moments are who you really are.

So I sit here in this Parisian flat, everyone is sleeping and I am alone with myself.  A part of me would like badly to speak with certain very specific people and another larger part of me is simply relishing the intimate loneliness encroaching upon me.  I can’t help remembering how I use to hate this feeling but life changes things; time changes things.

I am just here right now, just me; perfect.  My soul is lonely but my life is beautiful.  Everything is wonderful.