JASDON IS OK

these ramblings of mine

I found true love one night in Beirut

He stands at the bar, scanning the dance floor. The lights are flashing. The music is pulsing outward from the speakers. People sip their drinks and stare at the neon colors dancing on the ground, but few are dancing.

They are there, across the deck. She stands with a group of friends, appearing disinterested in their conversation, checking her phone to distract herself. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark clothes and her body sways to the music, subtly. He stands there, not far from her, but not with her group. Hie eyes shift towards her occasionally, scanning her body, taking in her demeanor.

And he is still on the other side of the deck, eyeing both of them, hoping their eyes will meet his. He imagines a moment, a moment of random chance. They look up. Perhaps he notices him and then she notices them. Or perhaps she notices him and then they notice each other.

They walk towards each other. They meet in the dance floor. The music reaches a crescendo and their bodies move subtly. They don’t speak. They barely breath.

And then it peaks. The beat drops. The mystery drops. Their bodies move together perfectly until they are on the bed, until they are intertwined together, until they are pleasuring her, until she is pleasuring them, until they are pleasuring him, until they are pleasuring him, until they sigh and scream in gasps of elations, orgasmic relief… panting, breathing. Silence. Love?

But he is standing there, by the bar. He is waiting.

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Camping in Shouf is the best thing ever

Jason in Beirut

So, last weekend my favorite person in the entire world, Michella, celebrated her 26th birthday by inviting all of us to go camping in Lebanon’s Shouf region.

Shouf is a mountainous area featuring some of the best views Lebanon affords as well as the expansive Shouf Biosphere Reserve. The reserve is actually Lebanon’s largest but though it’s a cedar forest, it’s not to be confused with The Cedars of God reserve located in the north of Lebanon. While the Shouf reserve is an amazing place to hike and features beautiful cedars, the “Cedars of God” are much older and are the cedars everyone associates with the country.

However, all that aside, this weekend escape was possibly one of the best weekends of the year for me. It was just so relaxing to escape the city and immerse ourselves in nature for a bit. Although I used to camp often in…

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Joanna and Ehab had a baby and it’s a girl!

Jason in Beirut

Some of the very first friends I made in Lebanon were Joanna and Ehab. I remember my very first weekend in the country, back in September of 2012, they invited me to the beach. A few months later, we traveled to India together.

I took photos at their wedding and it was honestly one of the most beautiful ceremonies I ever attended. I admit it, there were tears in my eyes throughout the service.

Now, Ehab and Joanna just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl! A few weeks ago, Joanna asked me if I could shoot some photos of them before the birth. I neglected to edit or upload the images before, but since they just gave birth this week, I thought I would do so today, welcoming little Jenna Mae to the world.

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And now… here is the beautiful little Jenna Mae! Welcome to the world habibti.

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Lazy afternoon in Horsh Beirut

Jason in Beirut

Also known as Horsh Al Snoubar (or Pine Forest), Horsh Beirut recently re-opened to the public after years of closure. Now, it’s become one of the chillest spots to just be lazy and relax in the city.

Beirut doesn’t have a lot of green spaces, so let’s hope that this one continues to be maintained as has been promised.

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Because love is like wind and eternity in every moment

My heart was lost to the world in my youth and given to the likes of those who will not return my affections.

So I will wander aimlessly chasing happiness for the remainder of my days and I will find nothing else but perfect contentment every afternoon, sometimes in the arms of a stranger and often lost in the hidden parts of earth, dancing with eternity.

And I will say of my relationships, you are all my lovers dear friends. For I have loved each of you completely and have known no other with such intimacy.

All of your memories are tattooed on the walls of my heart and your words are painted deep inside the recesses of my brain.

This is romance.

48 hours in Greece

Jason in Beirut

Lebanon may be the greatest  country in the world, but you still need a break every once in a while… even if it’s a short one.

Last weekend, I jumped at the opportunity to take a quick leap across the Mediterranean pond to enjoy almost exactly 48 hours in Greece. When you need a quick escape – forgetting the shitty reality of stupid visa requirements – Beirut to Athens is one of the quickest (2 hour flight) and normally one of the most affordable last minute options.

It wasn’t my first visit to the ancient country. I spent three days in Greece back in 2011 on a tour with my undergraduate university as part of a “Spanish Tour” that took us to Spain, Italy, Morocco and Greece for Spanish credit (don’t ask me what Greece has to do with Spanish… Greek is definitely not even a Latin language).

However, I was looking more for…

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Because I’m incapable of completion

I’m really great at starting things that I never finish.

I fell in love, like really fucking in love, for the first time when I was 17. It’s not something that I understood precisely, it’s something I’ve figured out slowly, in the years that have followed. But, I got stuck there somehow, back in those young and restless days.

Now, I’m almost 27 and my heart is unfinished, back in those breathless moments with the spring sun peaking in from the small vent windows. It’s lost in the freshness of a gentle breeze, seeping in through the slightly cracked window.

This is my life.

In the meantime, in the intervening years that is, I have found myself lost and confused. I sort of learned Spanish. I sort of learned French. I sort of graduated from university. I sort of worked as a photographer. I sort of worked in communication. I sort of learned Lebanese Arabic.  I sort of completed a masters. I sort of became a journalist. I sort of became an adult.

It’s honestly a lot of half-assed shit, a lot of laziness and incomplete goals that are caught in a perpetual state of partially there, but not quite. Can I finish things, actually? Can I accomplish something, completely?

And I’m still in love, the exact same way I was when I was 17. You’re so smart and you’re so kind and you like me so much and you think I’m great, I think.

But you’re playing video games and I’m smoking up watching movies. You’re there and I’m here. You forgot about me and I thought about you every day for almost a decade now.

You had a life and I did too, but sometimes I wonder if everything I ever did was just an attempt to impress you.

I guess you weren’t impressed, at least I don’t think so. It will remain hanging in a perpetual state of partially there, but not quite.

Unfinished.